The Hacker

I have both good news and bad news.

First, the good news: the seasons are changing. Thank God because the Chicago winter has truly worn out its welcome. (Wait no, it was never welcome to begin with.) At least on the coasts, you can do something productive with the winter weather. Snow equals great skiing! In Chicago, snow means that your commute will take twice as long, and you are inevitably going to ruin a cute pair of shoes.

Now the bad news: apparently overcome by sheer elation, everyone is getting sick. At work, I am surrounded by a symphony of coughing, sneezing, and grunting. Now, the sniffles are one thing, but the horrid hacking is quite another. I am tempted to head over to the other side of the office, and put that pour soul out of his/her misery. Then again, I don’t even want to get close to the source of that noise. Think a high decibel hacking cough, every minute on the minute. Please, just stay at home. On behalf of all the still-healthy people in the office, I am begging you.

I’ve never been one to put much stock in Purell, but I’m not taking any chances with a hacker on the loose in the office. I’m going to stock up on anti-bacterial gel – and Airborne for good measure.