Current market value of an MBA from a top tier school: $0
Business school tuition: $140,000
Opportunity cost of foregone wages: $375,000
Desperately hoping that your pre-business school employer will take you back: priceless
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Let's Talk...
This is going to have to be brief because I am getting up early tomorrow to go to Napa. My life is hard. But I digress…
I’ve had a number of interviews over the past couple weeks and I have a few more still coming up. At this point, it is safe to say that I have extensive interview experience. Unfortunately, I apparently have extensive experience interviewing in a manner that does NOT get me hired. It’s like I learned how to drive in London and then tried to pass the driving test in Illinois, visibly confused about the whole “driving on the right” concept the entire time. What do you mean I didn’t pass?!
I was recently discussing my epic interview failure with one of my good friends and she offered advice that was stunning in both its simplicity and brilliance: approach the interview as a conversation. In theory, this is a great idea; instead of spouting off canned phrases and trite responses, just have a really great chat with your interviewer. In practice, however, interviews make me crazy nervous and I tend to default back to Formal McFormal Candidate. Is that me? No. Is that me in an interview? I plead da Fif’.
What I really need to do is freaking relax during interviews, and in order to feel relaxed, I need a receptive audience. Alas, interviewers cannot always be relied upon to be an enthusiastic crowd. This is unfortunate for me because I would like to secure employment sometime this century, and unfortunate for interviewers because I have some downright entertaining stories, some in fact that would even be appropriate to share in a professional environment.
Key takeaway: Continue to push the interview envelope. I’m not recommending that you dye your hair purple, but try to push past the tendency to default to certain behaviors during interviews. I promise that I’ll try to have an actual conversation at my next interview...
I’ve had a number of interviews over the past couple weeks and I have a few more still coming up. At this point, it is safe to say that I have extensive interview experience. Unfortunately, I apparently have extensive experience interviewing in a manner that does NOT get me hired. It’s like I learned how to drive in London and then tried to pass the driving test in Illinois, visibly confused about the whole “driving on the right” concept the entire time. What do you mean I didn’t pass?!
I was recently discussing my epic interview failure with one of my good friends and she offered advice that was stunning in both its simplicity and brilliance: approach the interview as a conversation. In theory, this is a great idea; instead of spouting off canned phrases and trite responses, just have a really great chat with your interviewer. In practice, however, interviews make me crazy nervous and I tend to default back to Formal McFormal Candidate. Is that me? No. Is that me in an interview? I plead da Fif’.
What I really need to do is freaking relax during interviews, and in order to feel relaxed, I need a receptive audience. Alas, interviewers cannot always be relied upon to be an enthusiastic crowd. This is unfortunate for me because I would like to secure employment sometime this century, and unfortunate for interviewers because I have some downright entertaining stories, some in fact that would even be appropriate to share in a professional environment.
Key takeaway: Continue to push the interview envelope. I’m not recommending that you dye your hair purple, but try to push past the tendency to default to certain behaviors during interviews. I promise that I’ll try to have an actual conversation at my next interview...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
WACC-ing Off
Still wondering what sort of skill set trading develops? I present to you Trading, Overnight Edition.
11:35pm – Arrive at the office
11:39pm – Read over the daily trade report
11:41am – Sign into the trading system
11:44pm – Adjust volatility skews
11:52pm – A co-worker walks into the office, announcing his presence with a loud belch
11:53pm – The same co-worker turns to me and asks “hey, was that me or you?”
12:10am – We turn on Conan
12:29am – Order food from Chicago’s Pizza, the only place still delivering to the Loop after midnight
12:31am – Trader B offers to make a beverage run. (Please note that there were two soda machines in the office, each offering a different selection of sodas. The first soda machine was near our trading desk; the other one was across the office.)
Trader M: You going deep?
Trader B (quietly): Nah, just the tip
Me: You know I can still hear you, right?
1:15am – The food arrives and we dine like kings, assuming that kings eat massive quantities of chicken caesar wraps and Kettle potato chips
1:27am – Trader B returns from the bathroom looking concerned. “There’s a bottle of lotion in one of the stalls in the men’s room” he announces
2:19am – We click through my company’s recently updated website and discover something delightful: a photo in which one of our pit traders appears to be arbing hamburger. (His right hand was curled into a C, with just enough space between the thumb and fingers to fit a tasty burger.)
3:07am – On the screen some dude keeps posting and then pulling an offer. Were futures to go bid, this would be a juicy offer
3:08am – I start working futures against the offer
3:31am – Trader M is getting visibly irritated at the cat and mouse game on the screen
3:33am – The juicy offer is posted for the eleventy-seventh time
3:34am – Trader M stares at the screen, mutters “fuck this guy”, and lifts the offer
3:35am – We continue to work futures
4:37am – We finally get filled on our futures
5:14am – Send out the overnight report to the day traders
6:20am – The day traders begin to straggle into the office
6:57am – Wait for a lull in trading activity and then quickly log out of the trading system
6:59am – The pit traders exit the office en mass and head over to the Board of Trade
7:05am – My boss arrives
7:12am – One of the pit traders limps into the office
Trader L: What are you doing here? Aren’t you on the floor today?
Trader J: Actually, I’m going to be trading on the screen for the next few days. I got hit by a trolley yesterday and I’m still really sore.
Trader L: You got hit by a trolley?!
Trader J: Yeah, I got hit by a trolley walking back to the office from the Board of Trade yesterday afternoon.
Trader L: Let me get this straight. As a pedestrian, you managed to get hit by a vehicle that carts around tourists by day and serves as a party bus by night?
Trader J: Yeah.
Trader L: Priceless.
7:16am – I receive an email from Trader L. The subject is “Karma” and the body of the email is blank
7:20am – The opening bell rings
7:25am – My boss props up his right foot up on the desk and sighs
Boss: I think I have gout foot.
Me: Excuse me?
Boss: My foot really hurts. I think it’s gout.
Me: In your foot? I’m no doctor, but I really don’t think that’s possible.
Boss: But what else could it be?
Me: Um, just about anything. Are you sure that you didn’t just twist your ankle? Have you seen a doctor?
Boss: No, but you know what? I could call my mom – she’s a nurse.
7:27am – My boss calls his mother and shares his diagnosis. Her response? “You’re an idiot.”
7:50am – I head home for the day
11:35pm – Arrive at the office
11:39pm – Read over the daily trade report
11:41am – Sign into the trading system
11:44pm – Adjust volatility skews
11:52pm – A co-worker walks into the office, announcing his presence with a loud belch
11:53pm – The same co-worker turns to me and asks “hey, was that me or you?”
12:10am – We turn on Conan
12:29am – Order food from Chicago’s Pizza, the only place still delivering to the Loop after midnight
12:31am – Trader B offers to make a beverage run. (Please note that there were two soda machines in the office, each offering a different selection of sodas. The first soda machine was near our trading desk; the other one was across the office.)
Trader M: You going deep?
Trader B (quietly): Nah, just the tip
Me: You know I can still hear you, right?
1:15am – The food arrives and we dine like kings, assuming that kings eat massive quantities of chicken caesar wraps and Kettle potato chips
1:27am – Trader B returns from the bathroom looking concerned. “There’s a bottle of lotion in one of the stalls in the men’s room” he announces
2:19am – We click through my company’s recently updated website and discover something delightful: a photo in which one of our pit traders appears to be arbing hamburger. (His right hand was curled into a C, with just enough space between the thumb and fingers to fit a tasty burger.)
3:07am – On the screen some dude keeps posting and then pulling an offer. Were futures to go bid, this would be a juicy offer
3:08am – I start working futures against the offer
3:31am – Trader M is getting visibly irritated at the cat and mouse game on the screen
3:33am – The juicy offer is posted for the eleventy-seventh time
3:34am – Trader M stares at the screen, mutters “fuck this guy”, and lifts the offer
3:35am – We continue to work futures
4:37am – We finally get filled on our futures
5:14am – Send out the overnight report to the day traders
6:20am – The day traders begin to straggle into the office
6:57am – Wait for a lull in trading activity and then quickly log out of the trading system
6:59am – The pit traders exit the office en mass and head over to the Board of Trade
7:05am – My boss arrives
7:12am – One of the pit traders limps into the office
Trader L: What are you doing here? Aren’t you on the floor today?
Trader J: Actually, I’m going to be trading on the screen for the next few days. I got hit by a trolley yesterday and I’m still really sore.
Trader L: You got hit by a trolley?!
Trader J: Yeah, I got hit by a trolley walking back to the office from the Board of Trade yesterday afternoon.
Trader L: Let me get this straight. As a pedestrian, you managed to get hit by a vehicle that carts around tourists by day and serves as a party bus by night?
Trader J: Yeah.
Trader L: Priceless.
7:16am – I receive an email from Trader L. The subject is “Karma” and the body of the email is blank
7:20am – The opening bell rings
7:25am – My boss props up his right foot up on the desk and sighs
Boss: I think I have gout foot.
Me: Excuse me?
Boss: My foot really hurts. I think it’s gout.
Me: In your foot? I’m no doctor, but I really don’t think that’s possible.
Boss: But what else could it be?
Me: Um, just about anything. Are you sure that you didn’t just twist your ankle? Have you seen a doctor?
Boss: No, but you know what? I could call my mom – she’s a nurse.
7:27am – My boss calls his mother and shares his diagnosis. Her response? “You’re an idiot.”
7:50am – I head home for the day
Thursday, April 8, 2010
No, Thank You
It's been a slow week - on the blogging front that is, not on the recruiting front. Ironically, I have more time to write about recruiting when I'm not busy with actual recruiting.
Having a lot of interviews is a good thing. That being said, there is one big downside: having to write many MANY thank you notes. I detest writing thank you notes, not because I am an ill-mannered urchin, but rather because this task is a huge time suck that will not result in a job. Let's face it, no one has ever landed a job because of a kick ass thank you note (despite what books or your school's career development office may tell you). In reality, the thank you note is one final test: can this candidate manage to promptly send a brief but articulate note that is free from error?
No matter what I actually write in the body of the email, I am expressing the same point every time. Namely: "Dear Good Sir or Madam, please hire me. Love, Me"
So hiring managers, can we make a deal? Let's cut the crap and banish the whole archaic thank you note practice. It was fine back in the day when you interviewed for one (maybe two) jobs but today it is more like one of those wacky laws that no one ever got around to repealing (it is illegal, I repeat illegal, for a driver to be blind-folded while operating a vehicle).
Read between the lines: by accepting your invitation to interview onsite, I am implying that 1) I am sufficiently interested in your company to block out two full days in my schedule (one for travel and one for interviews), and 2) I am taking the time to engage in significant interview prep so as to come across as the competent and talented human being that I am. The thank you note is the recruiting equivalent of the last 0.2 mile of a marathon: painful and unnecessary. Running an even 26 miles is quite respectable and impressive so why continue on with this 26.2 miles nonsense? What I’m saying is that I am very appreciative of the opportunity to interview with your company, but would you please let me skip the thank you note pony show?
Having a lot of interviews is a good thing. That being said, there is one big downside: having to write many MANY thank you notes. I detest writing thank you notes, not because I am an ill-mannered urchin, but rather because this task is a huge time suck that will not result in a job. Let's face it, no one has ever landed a job because of a kick ass thank you note (despite what books or your school's career development office may tell you). In reality, the thank you note is one final test: can this candidate manage to promptly send a brief but articulate note that is free from error?
No matter what I actually write in the body of the email, I am expressing the same point every time. Namely: "Dear Good Sir or Madam, please hire me. Love, Me"
So hiring managers, can we make a deal? Let's cut the crap and banish the whole archaic thank you note practice. It was fine back in the day when you interviewed for one (maybe two) jobs but today it is more like one of those wacky laws that no one ever got around to repealing (it is illegal, I repeat illegal, for a driver to be blind-folded while operating a vehicle).
Read between the lines: by accepting your invitation to interview onsite, I am implying that 1) I am sufficiently interested in your company to block out two full days in my schedule (one for travel and one for interviews), and 2) I am taking the time to engage in significant interview prep so as to come across as the competent and talented human being that I am. The thank you note is the recruiting equivalent of the last 0.2 mile of a marathon: painful and unnecessary. Running an even 26 miles is quite respectable and impressive so why continue on with this 26.2 miles nonsense? What I’m saying is that I am very appreciative of the opportunity to interview with your company, but would you please let me skip the thank you note pony show?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Grasping at Straws
I recently heard a radio ad for something quite unusual: employment. Apparently the City of Chicago needs more census workers to poll residents in Englewood. Can’t imagine why it would be a challenge to fill those positions. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when I started typing “Englewood” into the Google search bar, the first suggested option was “Englewood Chicago crime”? Regardless, I am tired of negative economic updates so high five for ANY sort of positive employment news.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
