I Challenge... Myself

I learned all sorts of charming phrases such as BYL (verb: to blow your load) and woodshed (verb: to discipline someone) when I worked on the trading floor. I also witnessed firsthand the male affinity for any and all types of eating contests: Big Macs, hot sauce, raw onions, milk, etc. Disturbing yet fascinating.

Time and time again, I was shocked at what men would do in the name of a bet.

Example #1: Munchkin contest
The setting: trading desk
The food: Dunkin Donuts Munchkins
The challenger: a clerk looking for a little extra spending money
The motivation: sheer morbid curiosity
The outcome: 84 Munchkins consumed and approximately 82 Munchkins vomited back up

Example #2: McDonald’s ice cream cone contest
The setting: McDonald’s restaurant in Barcelona
The food: vanilla ice cream cones
The challengers: University of Chicago students studying abroad in Spain
The motivation: only 50 centavos per cono!
The outcome: contest called on account of group brain freeze

Apparently traders are not the only professionals who are enticed to enter eating contests. A friend of mine, a lawyer at a prestigious Chicago law firm, fondly recalls the Taco Bell challenge phase of law school:

The signature Taco Bell Challenge lineup included 20 item, ranging from cheesy bean and rice burritos to chicken quesadillas. Several pounds of food were to be consumed, with $100 on the line. The first competitor began the event confident and cheerful, even chasing his fare with Knob Creek bourbon. By the end of that fateful night, three people had pitched in attempting to conquer the Taco Bell Challenge, and all three ended on the ground in both failure and gastrointestinal distress.

I cringed at hearing the details of the Taco Bell challenge. I also laughed myself stupid. And then I had a sobering thought: what would have happened had the participants attempted the challenge after Taco Bell added seafood items to its menu? Can you imagine the outcome of the Pacific Shrimp Taco challenge?

Of course, as soon as this brilliant idea occurred to me, I tried to figure out who I could goad into attempting said Pacific Shrimp Taco challenge. My natural instinct was to approach either my business school friends or lawyer friends, as I have noticed a high positive correlation between advanced degrees and stupid decisions (aka eating contests). It begs the question: could that correlation exist because getting an advanced degree IS a stupid decision?