The Move of Shame

Here’s a fun fact: when I graduated last summer, I left all of my stuff in storage in Vermont. I thought that I was going to be on the East Coast so why bother to move my stuff back to Chicago in the interim?

Let’s analyze exactly how this decision devolved from “smart choice” to “why is my crap still in the Green Mountain state?”

June 2009 – I thought that I had a job locked down out east. Sure, I didn’t technically have an offer but the CEO himself told me that he wanted to bring me on board. He just had to wait to hire my direct supervisor before making a formal offer; I was fine with that because it seemed logical enough. Well if you’ve been paying the slightest bit of attention to this blog, you know exactly how this played out: my offer disappeared to the land of unicorns and fairies, never to be heard from again.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank that CEO for being a total douche, though, because the job was in Bumblefuck, Virginia, and I would have hated life there. So thank you for making that decision for me.

Upon the implosion of my post-business school employment prospects, I headed to Mexico to drown my sorrows in tequila. About two weeks later, a bit worse for the wear, I returned to Chicago carrying only one large suitcase (primarily full of cotton sundresses).

December 2009 – Nearly six months had passed since graduation and I was still in Chicago and still looking for a job. However, one thing had definitely changed: the weather. Chicago gets quite cold in the winter and unfortunately for me, my winter wardrobe was being held hostage in Vermont. Always happy for an excuse to travel, I hopped on a plane and headed out east to collect my winter gear.

I showed up at my storage unit to grab my coats and – HOLY CRAP WHERE DID ALL OF THIS STUFF COME FROM? My belongings had apparently mated during that period; surely, there hadn’t been that much stuff when I originally put everything in storage back in June. No matter, this was a problem that UPS could handle. I packed what I could into the empty suitcases that I had brought with me and shipped all of my apparel and shoes back in boxes. Books, kitchen supplies, and other bulkier items were left in storage to be dealt with later (Future Me could figure it out). After all, I was going to find a job any day now! And that job might be on the East Coast.

May 2010 – Almost a year after graduation and I am still in Chicago and still looking for a job. Well fuck. I finally admit defeat in this game of cross country moving chicken and decide to drive out east to move the remainder of my belongings back to Chicago. In theory, my acquisition trip would have been a great excuse to hang out and party with the second year students but… BUT I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I was (a remixed female version of) That Guy. You know, the guy who still goes to high school parties and wears his letter jacket everywhere even though he graduated almost ten years ago? Yeah, That Guy.

Frankly I can’t help but feel like a failure of the MBA machine so I would generally prefer to avoid social interaction with bright-eyed students who are still excited about the career opportunities that await them. Trying to keep a low profile, I didn’t explicitly broadcast my visit. Anyone who knows me will instantly flag this action as being out of character – after all, I was the woman who celebrated a birth week, not content to make due with a mere birth day.

While the move was technically a success, it definitely felt like the move of shame. But you know what? It will just feel that much sweeter when I finally return to campus as a triumphantly employed alum. Plus I have virtually guaranteed myself employment out east by moving all of my stuff back to the Midwest.